So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
