So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
