Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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