Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Vodka?
Forever.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
