I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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