He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
