I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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