im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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