The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
