I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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