i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
