No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
