So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
