After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
