your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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