I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
worst night to have a conscience
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
