maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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