i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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