my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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