your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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