last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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