I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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