What a fucking waste of an outfit
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
