bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
