I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
