Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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