Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
