This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
