How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
