i will never coherently bang her
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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