Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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