I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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