Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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