Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
