Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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