Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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