I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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