Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
