thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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