I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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