Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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