last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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