I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
