help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
