my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I party with great urgency now.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
