Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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