best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
be right there i have to get my cape
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
