I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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