I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
