Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
